


James Bond, Mr. Bean, Mary Poppins…Who's Missing?

by gardnerhill



Category: Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: 2012 Summer Olympics, Challenge Response, Community: watsons_woes, Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-12
Updated: 2013-05-12
Packaged: 2017-12-11 15:16:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/800155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gardnerhill/pseuds/gardnerhill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Medals all around, I say.</p>
            </blockquote>





	James Bond, Mr. Bean, Mary Poppins…Who's Missing?

**Author's Note:**

> For the [](http://www.dreamwidth.org/profile?user=watsons_woes)[](http://www.dreamwidth.org/profile?user=watsons_woes)**watsons_woes** 2012 July Writing Prompt #12 (July 28) – Olympics theme. Of course, inspired by the brilliant opening ceremony for the 2012 London Olympics.

The spirit of the Olympiad is to honour the amateur athlete. This includes those everyday men and women who strive for athletic and esthetic perfection at all times – to go further, faster, and higher than their predecessors.

However, despite the fact that the modern Olympics have now been held no less than three times in the great city of London, there has yet been no serious effort to honour one of this city's greatest men – nor the people with whom he is most closely associated – despite his invaluable contributions not only to the scientific use of deductive reasoning, but to the art of athletic achievement as well.

And so – in the name of the Master, and of the Chronicler, and of their Literary Agent – let us at least begin to recognise their moments of true Olympian excellence. Documentation is provided to support our conclusions.

***

BOXING: Sherlock Holmes 1, Mr. Woodley Nil ( _The Adventure of the Solitary Cyclist_ )

CYCLING: Miss Violet Smith takes Gold for the degree of difficulty (the terrain being infested with fortune-hunters) (ibid.)

DRESSAGE: Silver Blaze – who performed incognito and after killing in self-defense ( _Silver Blaze_ )

EQUESTRIAN: Dr. Watson's Chequebook Nil, Dr. Watson's Bookies 10 ( _Silver Blaze, Shoscombe Old Place_ )

FENCING: Sherlock Holmes Nil, Baron Gruner's hired brutes 2 ( _The Illustrious Client_ )

HIGH JUMP: Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson share the Silver, demoted from the Gold due to Dr. Watson's inability to stick the landing ( _Charles Augustus Milverton_ )

JAVELIN THROW: Sherlock Holmes 1, Dead Pig Nil ( _The Adventure of Black Peter_ )

MARATHON: Dr. Watson takes the Gold for his feat of nonstop running through mountainous terrain for three solid hours ( _The Final Problem_ )

ROWING: Jim Browner 1, Mary Cushing-Browner and Alec Fairbairn Nil ( _The Cardboard Box_ )

SHOOTING: Dr. Watson takes Gold, full stop (the whole bloody Canon)

SHOT-PUT: Col. Sebastian Moran Nil for missing ( _Final Problem, Empty House_ )

SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMING: The pistols owned by Mr. Gibson and Dr. Watson ( _The Problem of Thor Bridge_ ).

TRIATHLON: Sherlock Holmes takes the Gold for Wrestling, Climbing, and Ten-Mile Run ( _The Empty House_ )

WEIGHTLIFTING: Richard Brunton and Rachel Howells share the Gold ( _The Musgrave Ritual_ )

***

DIVING: After a long and fierce debate among the judges, the prize is awarded to Professor James Moriarty ( _Final Problem, Empty House_ ); however, as the man struck a rock on his way into the Reichenbach chasm his next of kin will have to settle for the Bronze.


End file.
